I recently had a major bereavement and with it a major emotional and psychiatric breakdown. I have lost close loved ones before, but losing a sister who was the first born, (I’m the second-born) was extremely devastating. We were close in age and as a result developed a very close bond. After she passed away, I could not carry on as normal. I had to leave my job as a director for a globally prominent non-profit organization, running out of a prestigious academic institution. In those early days of grief, I made some mistakes of numbing the pain with alcohol (bad idea). It just made the bad feelings worse. I found that the effects of alcohol actually enhance not ease the pain. So, what I worked on, through YouTube (its a great resource), was to train myself to shift my thoughts and feelings and find pleasure in simple everyday things such as: giving my one-and- a- half- year old niece a bath. Going with her to the park or simply being around her. Children are joy, and at this young age they are an extra delight!
Other simple pleasures like visiting the farmers market and planning a whole new recipe based on what was at the market. Talking on the phone with friends and family members; attending social engagements, to reduce isolation and loneliness. Watching, yet again, a favorite film. Listening to favorite music. Meditating and praying. Sending good thoughts and vibes to the universe for other people. Volunteering in the community.
Things can seem daunting after a bad experience but people tend to be wonderful and helpful once you share what’s going on with them. Finding pleasure in everyday seemingly mundane activities, I found is a great process to help recover the broken heart.