Frenemies – Why have them?

I must admit that I’m a recluse. I do have friends of course, but as we all know, the older we get, the harder to keep friends or make new friends. But luckily, I also happen to have several sisters – who are forever friends. Especially compassionate caring ones like my sisters. They yank me back from bad stuff since they have more skin in the game to see me do well. My success and well-being is their success and well-being and vice versa. We have mutual love and respect and we cheer each other on. 

Sometimes, when it comes to some friends, you can sense a lack mutual love and respect. They could be a type of friend who is also an enemy aka a “frenemy”, aka a toxic friend. That kind of relationship is toxic and therefore just easier to  cut the cord and let them go. According to Urban Dictionary, a frenemy is a person who always roots for you to do well but, just not better than them. Normally stems from jealousy to any or all aspects of your life. Similar to a hater but you get along with them.

There is no need to have frenemies.

It sounds distressing and unfortunate to me that a friend could also be an enemy. Why have them in your life then? The energy on the enemy side can poison the best of intentions for the friend side, so it seems like a defeating purpose. If you are the frenemy, consider why you harbor negative sentiments towards your “friend”.  Are you jealous or envious of them? Do you always feel the need to be one-up on them all the time? Is your friendship contingent on something, in other words transactional? Would this person be your friend if they could not provide you with X, Y, Z? Or are you friends with this person because they allow you to do A, B, C to them? If you find yourself in a frenemy situation, remove yourself from it. Focus your energy elsewhere. It will be more productive, wholesome and good for you. Get rid of your frenemy or refuse to be one. Be that genuine and sincere friend a friend would love to have.

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